Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Tuesday, 5/3/11

I’m not sure why it has been so hard for me to sit down and write…
I did get a puppy a couple of weeks ago, so she certainly has occupied my time, but I think its more than that.  I’ve been pretty tired through chemo this time around.  I guess I didn’t expect to be.  Sometimes I’m just tired of being tired, and I hate writing when I’m not in a good place.  The Carboplatin kicks my butt pretty much throughout the month. The Taxol is really impacting my feet and hands making them very numb which can be disconcerting.  I’m also missing my friends in VA.  Ok, waa waa waa…..
Bella, the puppy turned 3 months this weekend.  She is a quick learner and much more adaptable than I expected.  I knew going in that a young pup is a lot of work, and she can be, however she will sleep from 9:30 pm through to 5 or 6:00 am which is a plus.  Of course the downside is that I’m a night owl, so I’m still working on adjusting my bedtime to hers.  Past experience tells me that little by little we’ll work back to my schedule.  If I can just get her to sleep until 7:00 or 7:30 I’ll be golden.  I’m also crate training her – again she is a quick learner and doesn’t really give me too much trouble over it.  She’s very lovable and will just hang out on the couch with me which is great when I’m having a low energy day.  I’m also walking 2 to 3 times a day now to walk her, so that is actually a positive as well.  When I’m too tired, Rich or Anya will come over and walk her. Anya has actually taken her overnight for the more difficult day or two following the Carboplatin treatment.
I’ve also found a couple of yoga teachers willing to do restorative yoga sessions with me.  This has become so important for helping me be more gentle with myself as well as helping me manage the side effects of the chemo.  My next focus will be on finding a good acupuncturist.  I’ve got a couple of referrals so will try to get something started in the next couple of weeks.
I haven’t been working much and that has been difficult for me.  The financial loss is one that Ron and I are working through. But it is more than that.  I’m used to being busy and productive. Not having work to distract me puts the full focus on my current situation - who am I now, and how do I want to live my life going forward.  I’ve decided that I would like to continue with the coaching part of my work, but focus it more on life coaching. I’ve started to develop a business plan and should be able to tap into my son’s network for clients.  I think it will be really important for me to learn to develop some work life balance – something I wasn’t so good doing the first chemo time around. I absolutely believe that is one of my lesson’s here and one I didn’t learn very well before :(.  

Time will tell.

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