Sunday, November 14, 2010

1st day back at work

Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Woke up at 3:30 this morning – couldn’t get back to sleep despite my best efforts.  Finally gave up at 5:30 and got up. I’m headed into a client in DC to do another day of interviews for a project.  Headed to the office after – this is my first “appearance” since the news on Friday.  I realize that people want and need to hug me although they are hesitant to do so.  I find it funny – as they awkwardly stand there – I just say “yes you can hug me” and there’s a relieved laugh and a big hug.  It does feel good.  I get that folks are not sure what to say, and I think they need the hug even more than me.  I’m ok with that. I also get that when I give them permission to talk, ask questions, hug whatever it brings down a bit of the awkwardness.  I’m also pretty clear in stating that I don’t want anyone tip toeing around me. I’m going to have good days and bad days and they are welcome to have the same.  I love the vulnerability and transparency of my friends and I’m very grateful they are willing to throw it out there once invited.
Trying a new spray on organic deodorant. I’ve heard the rumours associating anti-perspirant and breast cancer – plus the pressure of a roll-on on the armpit lump is painful so figure its as good a time as any to try something different.  Don’t like it.  Leaves my armpits sticky and about 5 hours into the day I can smell a non-scent emanating from my armpits.  I don’t think anyone else can smell it but I can – I’m going back to my regular roll-on.
Shannon just called – she got permission for me to come in to her MRI center at Washington Hospital tonight after she finishes with her patients to do a breast MRI for me.  Ron is driving me in.

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