I’m finally scheduled on Wednesday to hear the results of all the tests done last week. Dr. Graham has also gone ahead and scheduled me for chemo on Thursday. I won’t know the type of chemo until he has determined what I need based on the test results….but hearing his staff tell me today that I need to take decadron on Wednesday night and Thursday morning brought it all back to me. I’m struggling to maintain an open mind – this time it will be different, this time I’m better prepared, this time I’ll recognize the side effect and take what I need before it gets out of control….etc…
It is always interesting to me to observe myself in the “safe” spaces…that place between getting the tests and getting the results. I realize I take great effort to not think about the “what if’s” or the “why’s” or anything at all. Its’ as if I don’t have cancer until I start receiving treatment again…can you say denial J
Actually the sooner I get started again, the sooner it will be done.
Did a 90 minute yoga class tonight – very relaxing and very grounding. I think this is something I’d like to continue with.