Monday, April 11, 2011

Saturday, 4/9/11

It has been a crazy couple of weeks and I realize I have not taken the time to write much at all.  Or maybe I’m just coming to terms with the idea that people are so generous and willing to help us.  Tomorrow is the fundraiser and I’m having some really conflicting feelings about it.
I think we all have a relationship with money that comes from the way we were raised.  In my family money was never discussed.  If you needed money to attend a school event, or go to a movie or meet up with friends, you earned it. I was babysitting the neighborhood kids by the time I was 10. I remember “borrowing” $5 from my grandfather as a 15 year old and having him add it to an electric payment when I was an adult.  Early on I learned the “value of a dollar,” and that no one did anything for nothing.  Everything had a price. 
Today I know differently and have chosen to live my life in a different way.  It started with the idea that you share what you have without any expectation of repayment.  I’m embarrassed to say how difficult it was to practice that one. Little by little I learned though, and when I met Ron I knew I had found someone who truly believed it and lived it.  Maybe now I have to let go and let others live the same way and believe that its okay to be the recepient and not the giver...
Ok, so tomorrow is going to be a good day and I need to just stop thinking.

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