Saturday, October 23, 2010

Getting the news

Friday – August 6

Woke up this morning about 4:00 am.  Today is the day I hear whether I’ve got a malignant lump or a benign one.  I try to settle my nerves by letting go and going back to sleep. Eventually doze off and sleep until 7:30 when Ron leaves for work and kisses me goodbye.  Slept a little longer then gave up.  I am God in Health and Stay in the Day are my mantras today.  I’m trying not to think about “what if” – just trying to stay focused on work and not waste energy worrying about what I don’t know yet.
11:48 am – just texted Ron – Radiologist called – I’ve got cancer in both sites.  CRAP! 
Sent text to girlfriends – they are rallying J - many words of encouragement and dismay.  I’m feeling amazed by the caring and the honesty.  Ron is on his way home. We’ll call the Dr. when he gets here. A colleague sent me the phone # of his wife. She is a breast cancer survivor and was great to talk to. She gave me some websites to look at, shared her experience – I’m encouraged that she had very little down time despite surgery, radiation and 16 weeks of chemotherapy.  She said most of the women she went through it with had similar experiences – and most had clean slates by the end of 7 mos.  She also encouraged me to make sure I exercise – she walked 30 min. a day, and did restorative yoga.  Well if I ever needed a reason to get more disciplined this might be it J
The doctor
can’t talk to us till tonight – we are packing and heading for NC.  We stop for gas at a local 7/11 and Ron runs in to get soda, water etc…  he comes out with a box of chocolate donuts – good bye gluten free….hello donuts!!  Somehow they seem like the perfect comfort food given our state of mind.
alked to the doctor –finally - she can’t really tell us a lot – just that there is more testing to be done – may take until next Friday…She’d like to have me meet her surgeon as soon as possible.. 

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