Saturday August 7
This sucks! Lots of crying, then calm, then crying – saw my son & his girlfriend last night (Rich & Anya)– I realize this is going to be really hard on him as well as my husband. Anya said he had his breakdown but then talked to some people and heard survival stories so is feeling better. He just tried to appear strong for me – but he was quiet. Anya is a great resource and will be a source of strength for all of us. She is looking into getting me referrals for Duke and UNC – both major medical meccas.
Ron and I talked this morning about the what ifs – we both believe in waiting for facts but understand how human and fragile we are and that we’re going to look at the holy shit what if. So we’re doing it – but we’re doing it together. I am so lucky to have him. He also put his stake in the ground last night by letting Rich know that he is here, he’s taking charge and I’m not alone. I think Rich's default is to be my protector but he doesn’t have to be anymore. Ron will take that burden.
I am God in Health…..and I’m staying in the day…and I’m scared shit……and I’m staying in the day…..breatheeeeee……
Went to dinner at Regazzi’s tonight. Decided the hell with Gluten Free – I want pasta, cannoli’s and garlic bread. Certainly makes you begin to appreciate what makes you feel better.Split a bottle of wine with dinner – we had a good time – decided to bring wine and dessert to kids – hung with them for an hour or so and then headed home. Blissful sleep J