While talking to Shannon today, I realized something about myself. I like to think I walk and talk healthy living – I try to eat good whole food, organic clean food, and maintain a positive attitude but I am constantly beating myself up for not exercising. I know I’m like a million people out there. Shannon captured what is going on I think…she said we think of yoga as a luxury, an indulgence for ourselves that we have to earn, so we put it off, go do the things we have to do so that we can “earn” our luxury and then by the time we’re finished with our day we are too tired, too stressed, or too busy (for her – getting dinner, settling the kids) to “indulge” ourselves so we park it in front of the tv instead. I think she is right.
What is in my psyche that says something good for me has to be earned? That doesn’t quite resonate either so its something deeper. I do indulge myself – pedicure, hair cut, clothes, shoes…yet it’s the simple idea of finding 30 minutes to stretch, walk, or do something physical that I push away from.
I’ve always been athletic. A tomboy as a kid, a cheerleader, gymnast, ballet dancer, ball player as a teen, and into my 20’s and then disciplined “work outs” in the living room to a video everyday in my 30’s. What changed? I can think of a hundred excuses but I don’t want excuses anymore.